I went home (Houston) for New Years Eve. I had originally planed on having some not so vanilla fun in Dallas with my new found friends, but family issues caused a change in plans. I got to Houston about 6:00pm on New Years Eve and headed to Tina's house. Tina has a physical and cognitive deficit caused by a triple wrapped umbilical cord at birth. She had lived her entire life with my grandmother then (at her death) with me. She has been pretty much on her own for the last 3 years.
I digress, I picked up Tina and headed to my BFF's for some bubbling wine, vodka, and fireworks. It was quite a night. The mimosas were doing the trick, the 5 shots of vodka did me in, only to top it off with a toast at midnight of pink champagne. Needless to say, we ended up spending the night at Shawna's and not heading home.
Wednesday afternoon, we got up managed to eat some Chic-Fil-A and headed to Wal-Mart for Tina's Christmas present. We bought the basics for her freezer and bathroom: lots of hamburger, chicken breasts, sandwich meat, shampoo, t.p.... you get the idea. Enough to fill her freezer up! Got back to her house and went to put the groceries in the freezer only to discover that she had no food in the cabinet or fridge. NOTHING worth eating anyway! She had one very rotten egg, ketchup, mustard, pickle relish, and a small tub of butter along with 4 cans of cheep veggies in the cabinet.
I was so heartbroken. Thank goodness my plans had changed. Thank goodness my dad had suggested that I go see her. It was a strange feeling standing there looking into the bright void of her refrigerator. The glaring white was a reality check. I said a quick prayer of thanks that I had gotten her oatmeal and muffins for breakfasts. She at least could make spaghetti and meat sauce for lunch and dinner.
I called her when I got home this afternoon. She had had company and one of her friends brought her coffee, another some flowers. She gets paid Monday and my Aunt Dale will be picking her up to go on a grocery run.
I look back and can see evidence of spending. nick-knacks that were not necessary. She had a Scentsy burner in every room, some had 2. There were boxes of new tree ornaments, there was a new Mr Coffee coffee pot like a Keurig, with the traditional coffee maker setting right next to it. She had informed me that she bought it with a gift card at Wal-Mart. The reality is that she could have bought groceries if she had so chosen to spend her money in that manor. She had made a choice. A choice made with the expectation of a hand out for groceries.
Although Tina is "special" she is a manipulative little shit sometimes. I am glad that I had not looked into her fridge before we went to the store. Our shopping excursion would have been more guilt ridden and she would have ended up with more junk. As it is, the groceries we did get were solid staples. Things that were healthy and will last.
It has been hard letting go of the responsibility of Tina. I took care of her for 5 years. In that time she did not lack for anything. I worked 3 jobs and bought all her wants and needs. Drove her everywhere she needed or wanted to go. I miss her, but I also know that it was time for me to leave. It was time for her brothers to take over her care. The empty fridge broke me, but the reality is that she chose to spend her money on other items. She made a choice and needed to learn from it. Hopefully my gift didn't do any damage. Hopefully, she will begin to quit buying candle wax and start buying what she need.
I love my Aunt Tina. I just hope she will be okay on her own.
